Always put a comma after "which" since it introduces a subordinate clause.
"And, unlike most of the taverns in this part of town, Jacques stocked only fresh and good quality ingredients, which made Catherine's job far easier." - missing comma.
No, you would not put a comma after "which". The comma after "ingredients" is sufficient to indicate a subordinate clause. A comma after "which" would simply be ungrammatical.
No, that is not a safe rule of thumb. If there were another clause between "but" and "she prepared it masterfully", one would need a comma. (e.g. "It was quite a simple dish, but, as she'd done many times before, she prepared it masterfully.")
As it stands, however, an additional comma would be incorrect.
We have 2 facts: 1 it was a simple dish and despite that (in other words "but") 2 she prepared it exceptionally well.
I understood it as praising her cooking skills and Catherine still giving it her all in terms of skill despite the simplicity of the dish on its own. You'd get the same opposition by breaking the structure into 2 sentences and using "However, ...".
I'd get the meaning of "It trivially easy to make, especially for someone with her cooking skills.", if the quoted text had "and" instead of "but".
Then again, maybe it's the influence of my mother tongue showing here - it strictly requires a comma after every clause.
Either way, I'm genuinely at loss, so would you mind explaining in more detail?
"But" is a coordinating conjunction connecting two independent clauses. The sentence structure is [Clause 1][Comma][Coord. Conjunction][Clause 2]. There is no comma that follows the coordinating conjunction.
And soon after: "Eleanor was still red, but she looked encouraged by the crowd and continued making her way towards the bar."
That doesn't work.
Someone can "give you courage" in the meaning of making you braver, but "to encourage someone" means to persuade them to purse an activity, like parents making a child take up a sport or some other hobby. It isn't applicable to a single action, nor does it mean "make someone brave", so it can't be used here.
Briwala speaking back on the surface: "Keep close to Catherine and watch each other's back." It should be "backs" since she's referring to Eleanor and Catherine, so 2 people instead of 1.
Catherine speaking to a being the party encountered: "We're trusting in you, lead us out of here." Drop the "in", the established phrases are "to trust someone" or to "put your trust in them".
Eleanor commenting on an ally: "But I wouldn't trust that nut job as far as I can throw a horse."
The phrase is "I would trust her as far as I can throw her." (since the described person is female) and I have trouble picturing Eleanor throwing a full grown horse, regardless of how strong she might be.
The next page of the same fight: "A ray of fire exploded from her fingers and traveled with blinding speed towards her target, it exploded against the cultist's chest and quickly made his body and clothes catch on fire. As the flames spread, they hit the web, which immediately caught on fire and thrusted the other cultists into a roaring inferno of flames."
It's either that something "is on fire" or "catches fire". "Catch on fire" doesn't work. I also added a few commas to places where they were missing (the first part is an adjunct of time ("as the flames spread" and the other is a subordinate clause ("which ..."), so the commas are obligatory).
A fight in the caves: "Briwala said without stopping, she ran alongside Catherine's web, one of the cultists had actually gotten himself free and was on her way." It should be "in her way".
Storming a certain building in chapter 3: "Briwala rushed him and got to him just as he was regaining her footing." Since the foe is said to be a he, it should be "his footing".
The investigation part with Catherine in the cathedral after the initial confrontation. If you apologize to the cleric, he'll question her laughter and her response is: "You just remind me a lot of my best friends." The following question is what kind of man said person is, so it should be "friend" in the quoted line since it's referring to a single person.
Chapter 3, if you accept the offer of a certain character: "Catherine got her answer almost immediately as a voice appeared on her head."
It should be "in her head", unless there's a tiny invisible creature actually on her forehead, which sounds funny as a possibility, but doesn't fit with telepathic communication.
I'm in chapter 3 and chose hugs twice (because it's cute and wholesome :D) and the sentence I spotted is about the person Catherine is teaching: "The young tiefling was being able to do everything on her own."
It's already in the past tense, so not only does "being" not flow naturally with the rest, it also breaks the agreement of tenses. Drop it. If you want to emphasize it's only temporary a construction like "this time" would work.
P.S. While I was taught a good deal about grammar, I'm not a native speaker. If my corrections ever feel off, do tell, I'd love to learn and improve. :)
A minor typo in conversation after the battle. Catherine speaking: "I... Might have cast a spell that was beyond my abilities, took some Feedback for my troubles." It should be "feedback".
Still the same orc fight, now with the orc leader taking a swing at the knight: "Eleanor did not take her eyes of the orc as he raised his axe to deliver another blow." It should be "off".
I spotted a few more typos. Still the fight with the orcs in chapter 2.
The first isn't strictly speaking a typo, but it stood out. Eleanor has the line: "So be it. FOR THE Empire!" before charging at the orcs. It would make more sense to have "EMPIRE" since I doubt she'd only scream the first 2 words.
A few pages later there's a paragraph about how the same woman will fight orcs not caught up in a web. The sentence is about the orcs: "All three started getting up at the same time, but Eleanor was the quicker of the tree." It should either be that she was the fastest of the 4 since all 4 combatants are in focus or that she was "quicker than the three orcs". I doubt a tree sprouted on the battlefield all of a sudden.
P.S. You probably figured this out already, but I saw I forgot to say this before. Animals like boars, deer and horses have hooves/hoofs. I wanted to mention it since I pointed out a problem last time, but forgot to add a solution.
And would it be possible to have a dedicated section for typos? It'll probably be easier to keep track of them in one place. Just an idea. :)
Ah, thank you for the corrections. We have a channel in our discord dedicated to typos, you're more than welcome to join us there.
I also corrected many, many typos since this version was released almost 3 months ago. I'll take a proper look at your suggestions when I have some time, but now we're busy getting Chapter 6 ready for the public release, which should come out tomorrow.
This is by far my favorite visual novel of all that i played, i love how the world is builded, the history about the wars the origins of the races, it feels alive in a whole other level, and the simplest things like the characters get sidetracked when they are chatting is just incredible, it feels so natural that You don't even notice it; like someone else said here, is a really good hit of fresh air seeing the characters actually transmitting emotions and having different ambitions, sorry if i'm exaggerating things, but I had to say it, keep up the good work man/guys and i hope i can play more of this game
It should work on 10. But there have been a few rare cases where it didn't work on it. And there is no loading at all, so if the game is not starting it's probably not working properly on your mobile.
All I could do I already did. Now it's up to Unity and Google to figure out how this is going to work and get me an update. Some people told me that the game is working on the latest version of Android, but it's not every phone that has access to that update yet.
I've seen people in the comments talking about how it's weird that you can't change the name, and how they know someone and all that, meanwhile my name's Catherine so I'm playing this just fine 😂
Hmmm... I think some of the outstanding kinks we have would be sub/dom, tentacles, futa, and transformation. I think this is the only place where we have a full list of kinks though.
Oh! Thanks so much! There are a few common kinks out there that I have traumatic experiences with, so I wanted to make sure before I played! I don't see any, so I'll definitely give this a look! I really appreciate the help! <3
hey, I have an important question but first I gotta say, Just finished chapter 4 and honestly I wanted to wait until it was finished or had a lot of progress, but I can´t the story is way too good, you wrote top tier really interesting characters for a story, not even taking into account is porn and that tends to be more flat, I´m so glad things like this exist. (and also I´m personally tilted at the oversaturation of just harem and corruption fantasies, seeing the characters treated as human beings is such a beautiful hit of fresh air.)
and sorry if someone asked already but I can´t see an answer. Is it possible to download chapter 5 and export the saves I had for chapter 4?
Thank you so much! I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed the game. <3
And you don't need to worry about it. The saves are kept in another folder entirely. So you can delete all the files of the game, download a newer version and all of your saves will still be there, no need to do anything.
Of course! It uses the default save file path of your computer, on windows it will be C:\Users\%username%\AppData\LocalLow\Necro Bunny Studios\Rise of the White Flower.
My only gripe is that you can't change the MC's name. I personally know someone named Catherine and it just gets uncomfortable every time her name pops up... and in this game, "Catherine" get's thrown around a lot!
Like I said, that means the game can't access the save file location, which is at ~/Library/Application Support/com.Company.ProductName. You need to give the game permission to read and write on that folder.
Well, it should be. I talked with a friend of mine that has a Mac and he said it's working fine, I don't know what is the problem but it is something on your end, not really sure what though.
is it possible to start romance with eleanor, cuz i did like 6 runs and i never had optons about starting romance with her, i only got them with the blood dancer was it?
She is the first to get the option as she is... A little more leaning with Catherine's sexcapedes. The other characters will be getting romance routes later on in the game, so don't worry Eleanor will have a romance route eventually.
The mc x victor moment is kinda short but he gonna appear again in chapter 6 right?!! Anyway, I love the new characters especially (spoiler) the new slave *wink*. Is there any moment with her tho? Anyway, I really love the story and stay safe!
there is, i opened kickstarter yesterday, and saw some adult game getting slot of backer, and I thought an idea, i tell these dev here at itch Io about that.
Also, how did you see my comment on other games xD
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Always put a comma after "which" since it introduces a subordinate clause.
"And, unlike most of the taverns in this part of town, Jacques stocked only fresh and good quality ingredients, which made Catherine's job far easier." - missing comma.
No, you would not put a comma after "which". The comma after "ingredients" is sufficient to indicate a subordinate clause. A comma after "which" would simply be ungrammatical.
*Rereads.* Yes that's what I meant.
Thanks for catching that :) and sorry, it was late and I was tired by that point.
Commas usually come before "which", not after.
"It was quite a simple dish, but she prepared it masterfully." - missing comma.
It's a safe rule of thumb to put a comma after "but" 90% of the time.
No, that is not a safe rule of thumb. If there were another clause between "but" and "she prepared it masterfully", one would need a comma. (e.g. "It was quite a simple dish, but, as she'd done many times before, she prepared it masterfully.")
As it stands, however, an additional comma would be incorrect.*Confused.* I do not follow.
We have 2 facts: 1 it was a simple dish and despite that (in other words "but") 2 she prepared it exceptionally well.
I understood it as praising her cooking skills and Catherine still giving it her all in terms of skill despite the simplicity of the dish on its own. You'd get the same opposition by breaking the structure into 2 sentences and using "However, ...".
I'd get the meaning of "It trivially easy to make, especially for someone with her cooking skills.", if the quoted text had "and" instead of "but".
Then again, maybe it's the influence of my mother tongue showing here - it strictly requires a comma after every clause.
Either way, I'm genuinely at loss, so would you mind explaining in more detail?
"But" is a coordinating conjunction connecting two independent clauses. The sentence structure is [Clause 1][Comma][Coord. Conjunction][Clause 2]. There is no comma that follows the coordinating conjunction.
Ah, so the same mistake. *Facepalm.* XD
Of course the comma comes before "but", not after.
Thank you. :)
Lesson learned: make corrections when you're rested.
I'm starting to think whoever wrote this must have been rather tired at the time. XD
"With a smile on her lips and a song on her heart, Catherine began to work on her special."
You need the comma because it's an adjunct of manner and it should be "in her heart" since it's not that she has the lyrics tattooed on her chest.
Soon after that: "Catherine and Jacques looked at each other before shooting Eleanor and inquisitive glance."
It should be "an", not "and".
And soon after: "Eleanor was still red, but she looked encouraged by the crowd and continued making her way towards the bar."
That doesn't work.
Someone can "give you courage" in the meaning of making you braver, but "to encourage someone" means to persuade them to purse an activity, like parents making a child take up a sport or some other hobby. It isn't applicable to a single action, nor does it mean "make someone brave", so it can't be used here.
After Catherine convinced Eleanor to put on the tavern costume: "Her face quickly began to get redder than red and she started to take a step back."
Not a mistake, but rather clumsy wording, it would suffice to say that Eleanor's face "grew/became as red as a tomato".
Briwala speaking back on the surface: "Keep close to Catherine and watch each other's back." It should be "backs" since she's referring to Eleanor and Catherine, so 2 people instead of 1.
Catherine speaking to a being the party encountered: "We're trusting in you, lead us out of here." Drop the "in", the established phrases are "to trust someone" or to "put your trust in them".
Eleanor commenting on an ally: "But I wouldn't trust that nut job as far as I can throw a horse."
The phrase is "I would trust her as far as I can throw her." (since the described person is female) and I have trouble picturing Eleanor throwing a full grown horse, regardless of how strong she might be.
The next page of the same fight: "A ray of fire exploded from her fingers and traveled with blinding speed towards her target, it exploded against the cultist's chest and quickly made his body and clothes catch on fire. As the flames spread, they hit the web, which immediately caught on fire and thrusted the other cultists into a roaring inferno of flames."
It's either that something "is on fire" or "catches fire". "Catch on fire" doesn't work. I also added a few commas to places where they were missing (the first part is an adjunct of time ("as the flames spread" and the other is a subordinate clause ("which ..."), so the commas are obligatory).
A fight in the caves: "Briwala said without stopping, she ran alongside Catherine's web, one of the cultists had actually gotten himself free and was on her way." It should be "in her way".
Storming a certain building in chapter 3: "Briwala rushed him and got to him just as he was regaining her footing." Since the foe is said to be a he, it should be "his footing".
The investigation part with Catherine in the cathedral after the initial confrontation. If you apologize to the cleric, he'll question her laughter and her response is: "You just remind me a lot of my best friends." The following question is what kind of man said person is, so it should be "friend" in the quoted line since it's referring to a single person.
Would really want to play this game but it won't work on Android 11
Chapter 3, if you accept the offer of a certain character: "Catherine got her answer almost immediately as a voice appeared on her head."
It should be "in her head", unless there's a tiny invisible creature actually on her forehead, which sounds funny as a possibility, but doesn't fit with telepathic communication.
I'm in chapter 3 and chose hugs twice (because it's cute and wholesome :D) and the sentence I spotted is about the person Catherine is teaching: "The young tiefling was being able to do everything on her own."
It's already in the past tense, so not only does "being" not flow naturally with the rest, it also breaks the agreement of tenses. Drop it. If you want to emphasize it's only temporary a construction like "this time" would work.
P.S. While I was taught a good deal about grammar, I'm not a native speaker. If my corrections ever feel off, do tell, I'd love to learn and improve. :)
A minor typo in conversation after the battle. Catherine speaking: "I... Might have cast a spell that was beyond my abilities, took some Feedback for my troubles." It should be "feedback".
And Catherine moving to finish off the trapped orcs with black oil and saying: "I knew this would come in hand.", it should be "handy".
Still the same orc fight, now with the orc leader taking a swing at the knight: "Eleanor did not take her eyes of the orc as he raised his axe to deliver another blow." It should be "off".
I spotted a few more typos. Still the fight with the orcs in chapter 2.
The first isn't strictly speaking a typo, but it stood out. Eleanor has the line: "So be it. FOR THE Empire!" before charging at the orcs. It would make more sense to have "EMPIRE" since I doubt she'd only scream the first 2 words.
A few pages later there's a paragraph about how the same woman will fight orcs not caught up in a web. The sentence is about the orcs: "All three started getting up at the same time, but Eleanor was the quicker of the tree." It should either be that she was the fastest of the 4 since all 4 combatants are in focus or that she was "quicker than the three orcs". I doubt a tree sprouted on the battlefield all of a sudden.
P.S. You probably figured this out already, but I saw I forgot to say this before. Animals like boars, deer and horses have hooves/hoofs. I wanted to mention it since I pointed out a problem last time, but forgot to add a solution.
And would it be possible to have a dedicated section for typos? It'll probably be easier to keep track of them in one place. Just an idea. :)
Ah, thank you for the corrections. We have a channel in our discord dedicated to typos, you're more than welcome to join us there.
I also corrected many, many typos since this version was released almost 3 months ago. I'll take a proper look at your suggestions when I have some time, but now we're busy getting Chapter 6 ready for the public release, which should come out tomorrow.
Whe! is the public release? I hope the android bug is fixed i hhavent been able to play chapter 5
This is by far my favorite visual novel of all that i played, i love how the world is builded, the history about the wars the origins of the races, it feels alive in a whole other level, and the simplest things like the characters get sidetracked when they are chatting is just incredible, it feels so natural that You don't even notice it; like someone else said here, is a really good hit of fresh air seeing the characters actually transmitting emotions and having different ambitions, sorry if i'm exaggerating things, but I had to say it, keep up the good work man/guys and i hope i can play more of this game
Thank you so much!! We're really glad to hear that you enjoyed it! <3
So I know the patreon release for ch 6 happened about a week ago. Is there a timeframe for the public release?
It will come out next Friday!
Awesome, can't wait! Thanks for the quick response!
Can this game work on android 10?
Or the loading just take Soo long?
It should work on 10. But there have been a few rare cases where it didn't work on it. And there is no loading at all, so if the game is not starting it's probably not working properly on your mobile.
Soo how to get the game work property?
All I could do I already did. Now it's up to Unity and Google to figure out how this is going to work and get me an update. Some people told me that the game is working on the latest version of Android, but it's not every phone that has access to that update yet.
Soo i just gonna wait?
if i downloaded this will i get only chapter 5, or iam going to get all the chapters?
All of them.
I've seen people in the comments talking about how it's weird that you can't change the name, and how they know someone and all that, meanwhile my name's Catherine so I'm playing this just fine 😂
Congratulations. You played yourself.
Hello! I'm curious to know what kink content is present in this game, or is it all fairly vanilla?
Hmmm... I think some of the outstanding kinks we have would be sub/dom, tentacles, futa, and transformation. I think this is the only place where we have a full list of kinks though.
Oh! Thanks so much! There are a few common kinks out there that I have traumatic experiences with, so I wanted to make sure before I played! I don't see any, so I'll definitely give this a look! I really appreciate the help! <3
Where to download chapter 1 it does not show under the dev log and cant find it anywhere?
Chapter 5 has all the previous chapters too.
For some reason this game just won't load, it's stuck at the loading screen.
I've downloaded the file from here.
Chapter 5
Since there were no previous chapters available to download i assumed it was all 5 chapters
The game is not working on android 11 yet, sorry.
And yes, the game has all the chapters.
hey, I have an important question but first I gotta say, Just finished chapter 4 and honestly I wanted to wait until it was finished or had a lot of progress, but I can´t the story is way too good, you wrote top tier really interesting characters for a story, not even taking into account is porn and that tends to be more flat, I´m so glad things like this exist. (and also I´m personally tilted at the oversaturation of just harem and corruption fantasies, seeing the characters treated as human beings is such a beautiful hit of fresh air.)
and sorry if someone asked already but I can´t see an answer. Is it possible to download chapter 5 and export the saves I had for chapter 4?
Thank you so much! I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed the game. <3
And you don't need to worry about it. The saves are kept in another folder entirely. So you can delete all the files of the game, download a newer version and all of your saves will still be there, no need to do anything.
oh, nice, and may I ask where are the saves? just curious, or is it too complicated?
Of course! It uses the default save file path of your computer, on windows it will be C:\Users\%username%\AppData\LocalLow\Necro Bunny Studios\Rise of the White Flower.
strange question -havent played it yet- but is it possible to skip the male sex scenes and focus on a pure lesbian MC?
Yes!
Thank you for the reply I look forward to playing :D
We hope you enjoy it!
Is it possible to skip all sexual content in the game and just play the story? I love dnd but Im not interested in hentai
You can't skip all of it, but most of it.
My only gripe is that you can't change the MC's name. I personally know someone named Catherine and it just gets uncomfortable every time her name pops up... and in this game, "Catherine" get's thrown around a lot!
Hahahaha. Well, maybe we'll add the option when we get closer to finishing the game.
Im still stuck on the loading screen after strying many things. the only thing i notice though now. iswhen i move my cursor to the lef
Like I said, that means the game can't access the save file location, which is at ~/Library/Application Support/com.Company.ProductName. You need to give the game permission to read and write on that folder.
its read and write and still no work
Well, it should be. I talked with a friend of mine that has a Mac and he said it's working fine, I don't know what is the problem but it is something on your end, not really sure what though.
Im really sad :(
So am I, but I don't know what to tell you. D:
is it possible to start romance with eleanor, cuz i did like 6 runs and i never had optons about starting romance with her, i only got them with the blood dancer was it?
She is the first to get the option as she is... A little more leaning with Catherine's sexcapedes. The other characters will be getting romance routes later on in the game, so don't worry Eleanor will have a romance route eventually.
when I enjoy your game I will donate and support your content
Please fix I'm android 10 stuck in loading screen
The mc x victor moment is kinda short but he gonna appear again in chapter 6 right?!! Anyway, I love the new characters especially (spoiler) the new slave *wink*. Is there any moment with her tho? Anyway, I really love the story and stay safe!
When is the Android version gonna get fix?? :( i want to play it but it's stuck on the Loading screen with no Menu
I don't have a prevision, I still haven't been able to get the game to run on android 11. Sorry :(
Oh.. is it working with android 10 tho? I tried downloading it in my tablet too with android 7 but it says it's not compatible with the version.
Mm, what about you make a Kickstarter for this game? The graphics and story are solid so I think people will like it
We won't make a Kickstarter as we are funding the game through our Patreon page. But we're happy to hear that you liked it! <3
I've seen you say this on a bunch of posts. Any reason why?
Why what?
there is, i opened kickstarter yesterday, and saw some adult game getting slot of backer, and I thought an idea, i tell these dev here at itch Io about that.
Also, how did you see my comment on other games xD
Seeeee uhhh I uhh was uhhh browsing around